Home for the Holidays

It’s that time of year when we hear psychologists on the radio or TV reminding us that the holidays can be stressful. When I hear these warnings, I think to myself, “Oh, REALLY?!”

Whether it’s the obligation or desire to connect, most people will make an effort to be with their family sometime during the holidays. This includes the growing number with the strange illness called Multiple Chemical Sensitivity, of which I am one.

We all yearn for those magical memories of holidays past. We each have an ideal image that comes to mind for every special holiday. Take Christmas for example. For some, it might look like this. A freshly cut Christmas tree stands tall in the corner of a well decorated family room. The lights are dimmed and candles are lit. There are shiny wrapped presents under the tree. A crackling fire is aglow. Relatives and friends are dressed up in holiday attire. Mouth watering aromas are coming from the general direction of the kitchen. Around the corner is an elegantly set dining table. In the center of the table is a festive floral arrangement. A dog runs through the house with bells tied around his neck, as children follow behind. To some this sounds like picture perfect!

As one with MCS, my version of that same holiday scene is dramatically different. When I first enter this postcard picture scene, my heart is warmed by the sight of family and friends, the beautiful decorations, and the excitement in the air. However, at this same moment, my mind starts to reel, because my body starts to scream. I am hit from all directions. It’s as if I am in the center of a firing squad. My eyes dart around the room to detect where the bullets (chemical emissions) are coming from.

There’s a fire blazing. The wood smoke irritates my throat and lungs and I suppress the coughing that is about to erupt. Stepping into the living room, I admire the real Christmas tree and its trimmings. I detect the chemicals in the pesticide that was sprayed on the tree before it was chopped and sold. There is a tightening in my chest and I start to feel queasy. I creep forward, as I wait for my husband to deliver our dish to the kitchen and return to my side. Then I practically throw our gifts at him and motion for him to put them under the tree. An artificial spice scent is overpowering the room. I suspect it is either an air freshener or a scented candle. My head begins to pound and the discomfort in my throat and chest continues to worsen. A distant relative runs up to me and gives me a hug before I can say, “Please don’t. You are wearing perfume.” It is too late. I now have a sickening perfume stuck on my clothes and in some of my hair. This is when I start to panic. I realize I can’t get away from the perfume on me. The chemicals in the scent are irritating my throat even more and now my tongue is feeling weird. I’m also feeling lightheaded. Other family members come to greet me slowly. Some know to keep their distance, because they are wearing perfume or fragranced products (deodorants, shampoos, conditioners). But what they don’t know is that I also react to the dry cleaning chemicals on their favorite Christmas jacket or outfit. I manage to slip into the dining room hoping to get fresher air. I admire the beautiful table and flowers. But after stepping only a few feet into the room, my throat starts to feel thick, as if it wants to close up. I detect the strong fragrances emitted from the flowers in the centerpiece on the table and the potpourri in the crystal bowl on the buffet nearby. Any desire to partake in a Christmas feast has left me. At this point, I want to run. I dash from the room, my mind searching for answers to the already overwhelming concerns facing me during this visit. From this point on, I stumble from room to room trying to find the space with the least amount of irritants. I decide to go outside for a while. On my way to the door, a happy dog runs past and clips me on the leg. I smile… until the flea shampoo hits me. I feel as if I have been poisoned. I am lightheaded, nauseous, and feel extremely weak. Quickly, I open the door and escape. Hoping that no one has missed me, I remain as long as it takes to feel better. Eventually my husband locates me. I ask him to let me know when dinner has been served. Feeling sad, I stand alone outside awaiting the return of my husband. In what seems like eternity, he calls for me from the door.

Feeling better, I re-enter the house and beg my husband to get me a small plate of food. I make my way to the couch and try to talk with the nearest person, so as not to seem antisocial. Very soon I notice a new burning in my throat and I glance around the room (yet again). The irritant smells like ink. I then notice the pretty packages sprawling out from under the tree. In order to know for sure if they are the culprits of this new chemical reaction, I slowly move toward a pile of presents next to the tree. As the scent is getting stronger, I lean close to the presents and take a sniff. Oh, that’s it. The ink (or finishes) on the wrapping papers are causing both my nose and throat to burn. I ask myself, why did I check out the presents and subject myself to more discomfort, if I thought that was the cause of the reaction? This is the same question my husband often asks me. Then the answer came, as it always does. I would rather be certain of the source and get away from it, than risk my reaction getting worse.

And so, my Christmas celebration with family is spent moving in and out of rooms and going outside frequently. I do this while trying to nibble on the food so thoughtfully prepared by many and visiting with my family as long as possible before getting sick. If I knew that all my symptoms would disappear when I left, I could better enjoy every moment of the gathering. However, many symptoms last for hours. And occasionally, a reaction can have symptoms lasting for days.

CONCLUSION:

Yes, Christmas is very stressful. But we manage to ignore the stress, because the effort we invest usually brings joy to us, our families, and our friends. I would like to conclude that for me Christmas remains the most special of holidays. Just like many, I dream of those same ideals we had as children. Although most are unrealistic for me, I still yearn for them and I wish you all the merriest Christmas ever.

UPDATED COMMENT (2010):

It has been a year since I wrote this article. My outlook on Christmas has changed. I dread Christmas and all the family gatherings I will either miss or have to hide from while they take place around me. I can no longer tolerate the airborne food particles that most of the world calls "pleasant aromas". Spices and certain foods that are prevalent at parties/meals are too dangerous for me. I have many neurological reactions, in addition to those I have been having throughout the past few years. Many are from the cosmetic and hair care products others wear. Others are from the list below.

NOTES:

There is a mental list that scrolls through the mind of one with MCS, when preparing for a visit home. For those unaware of this list, reading mine might explain why we laugh (with fear) at the warnings of holiday stress?

My List of What to Avoid to Survive a Holiday without Leaving Sick

Perfumes and Colognes

Fragranced Shampoos, Conditioners, and Styling Products

Makeup with fragrances or sunscreen

Hairspray

Fragranced Detergents (on clothes or in the laundry area)

Fabric Softeners (on clothes or in the laundry area)

Hand, Face, or Body Lotions (most are fragranced)

Aftershave

Fragranced Deodorants

Furniture that has just been polished

Fresh Flowers

Scented Candles or Potpourri

Air Fresheners (one should be shot for using one of these – more later)

Alcoholic Beverages in Open Containers

Greeting Cards or Wrapping Paper containing certain inks or finishes

Gifts that contain either plastic or rubber (like the cord on new appliances or electronics)

Spices: especially all peppers, garlic, and onions (used in preparing/cooking food in the house or

just reheated)

Gasoline seeping into house from a motorcycle recently parked in the garage.

Insect Repellant (if in a warm climate)

Sunscreen (if in a warm climate)

There are many symptoms that one with MCS can experience from exposure to the items on this list. Not everyone has the same reactions. I don’t even have the same reaction to the same type of product. For example: one perfume can make my nose, throat, and lung irritated, while another perfume can cause a severe headache, or another affect my sense of balance.

I Can SEE the Perfume Coming

Apparently, there are international rules for the application of perfume.
…..Rule 1. The more dressed up you are, the more perfume you must apply.
…..Rule 2. Follow the makeup to perfume ratio: more of one requires more of the other.
…..Rule 3. The more important the event you will be attending,
the more intense the perfume you should wear.
…..Rule 4. If you are over the age of eighty, you must apply your perfume with a paint brush.

As stated in rules 1 and 2 above, the more dressed up you are and the more makeup you wear, the more perfume you must apply. Because of my knowledge of these widely-accepted rules, I can see the perfume coming before I even smell it. And since a barrage of perfume can be dangerous to someone with MCS (see NOTES), I am grateful to have the warning.

I often wonder why women who have put forth great effort and time to polish their appearance to a high gloss (that would catch anyone’s eye), have the need to bathe in perfume. Once they have everyone’s attention with their stunning presentation, is there really a need to try for more? Perhaps they are striving to be the flower in the room. Or maybe they are going for the large, bold centerpiece. Unfortunately, some end up a Rose Bowl Parade Float.

But let’s be honest, the desire to make a “scent-sation” is not gender specific. So, ladies, please be careful… very careful, when you whisper to a man those three little words… the three words that we all long to hear… those three words that can change a relationship forever… “You smell nice.” Now, you’ve done it! He now feels compelled to keep available a 50 gallon drum of whatever fragrance he happened to be wearing at the time of your compliment; to splash on every fifteen minutes for the rest of his life.

Most people do not seem to be aware of the fact that smells become less noticeable to the healthy nose in a short period of time. Although the molecules from the substance that makes up a smell or scent are still present, the normal person will become desensitized to them. They are no longer smelled by the person wearing them. This is why so many people reapply their perfumes and colognes throughout a day. They don’t know that they already have on more than enough.

I must confess, when I was a young women, I did wear a mild fragrance. Even then, I felt it was more for the enjoyment of those intimately close. Although I didn’t have significant reactions to perfumes and colognes at that time, several were unpleasant. Today, there seems to be an abundance of offensive (okay, I really mean obnoxious) ones out there. They remind me of classic scents such as RAID, OFF, TIDYBOWL, and LYSOL. Sometimes when I encounter a really awful fragrance, I have to bite my tongue to prevent from asking, “Excuse me, what is that insect repellant you are wearing?”

This all brings me to the point that there are reasons why some fragrances smell like pesticides and disinfectants. Although some of us can react to any fragrance, it is important to know that fragrances in our everyday products are NOT REGULATED and worse, many are TOXIC. Some contain chemicals found in paint and varnish removers, nail enamel remover, and bleach. At least 95% of the chemicals found in perfumes today are derived from petroleum.

The following link is a MUST READ. It lists chemicals, their effects on the body, and the products which contain them.
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=406948978&blogId=494040622

For more information on fragrances, chemicals, and the chemically sensitive, click on these links.
http://www.ehow.com/about_4674296_what-chemicals-perfume.html
http://www.ewg.org/files/SafeCosmetics_FragranceRpt.pdf
http://www.dldewey.com/perfume.htm

CONCLUSION:
Fragrances are NOT regulated in this country. Toxic ingredients are in an alarming number of perfumes and colognes. It is known that many of these chemicals have the capability to cause cancer, birth defects, nervous system disorders, and life-threatening reactions. Therefore, it is amazing to me that the marketing machines of the fragrance industry have convinced us that we not only need to wear perfume, but that our cosmetics and cleaning products must contain fragrances also.


NOTES: Those with MCS react differently from exposure to fragrances. And each of us can have our own lists of symptoms. Even a brief exposure can cause several symptoms. Below is a partial list of symptoms resulting from exposure to fragrances.

Nose, Throat, and Lung Irritation (burning)
Severe Coughing
Wheezing or Difficulty Breathing
Lightheadedness or Loss of Equilibrium
Severe Headache
Inability to Concentrate
Loss of Consciousness


SUGGESTIONS:
Although it is difficult, inform family and friends of the harmful chemicals found in fragrances. It is important they know the potential harm for everyone.

When crowds are unavoidable, LOOK for the perfume. You might escape before getting PER-FUME-IGATED.


WHAT WORKS FOR YOU?
How do you inform someone that if they spray, you can’t stay?

Washers, Aren’t They Supposed To Clean?

At the end of a slow death, my old washing machine finally gave out. We had had a long intimate relationship, spending many quality hours together. After grieving the loss of my old friend, I realized I had no choice but to move on, as I was in desperate need of a washing machine.

Having Multiple Chemical Sensitivity, it is critical that I have clean cotton linens and clothing on a daily basis. I count on my washing machine to clean well, and certainly not to add anything harmful to my clothes. But here lies the problem.

I don’t remember the plastics inside my old machine ever being an issue. Although I had sensitivities to some materials back when I first acquired my washer, I guess plastics were somewhat tolerable for me then. They aren’t now. I feared purchasing a new machine would be a nightmare. So, I began the hunt for a used machine, hoping to find one with an agitator (the PLASTIC thing in the middle) that had already outgassed.

I was surprised and horrified to discover that every used washer I checked out was inundated with fabric softener. And not only that, if I removed the top piece on any agitator and looked inside, I would find mold at the bottom of the fabric softener dispenser. DISGUSTING! And certainly unhealthy.

Most people in this country must not realize how harmful fabric softeners are. If you (or your loved ones) use fabric softeners, please check out the following. Brace yourself, it’s scary.
http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Toxic-Danger-of-Fabric-Softener-and-Dryer-Sheets&id=16953.

Now convinced a used machine wouldn’t work, I searched for a new machine with little or no plastic. I chose to visit a reputable appliance dealer in my town. Although it was uncomfortable to be in the store, I managed to stay long enough to spend my money. The sales representative assisting me had a wife who was sensitive to plastics (skin reactions). He showed me a machine that he planned to buy for his wife, when their old one eventually died. He said it was rated one of the best by Consumer Reports (GOOD!). It had a stainless steel tub (GREAT!) and a very small plastic agitator (JACK POT!). At that moment, I thought maybe this nightmare was more like the “wearing your underwear to school” nightmare and not the “Freddie Kruger" kind. The agitator was small because this machine used a “wave action” that was supposedly better for water conservation. After doing a sniff test with the traditional models and then this one, I was convinced by its low odor that it would outgas quicker than the others.

Once home with the new (and more expensive than I could afford) model, and after running several loads (which included vinegar rinses), I discovered that the metal tub had a very disturbing chemical off-gas that was not present when I purchased the machine. UNBELIEVABLE! This chemical residue was actually accumulating in my clothes and linens, causing burning in my nose and throat, coughing, discomfort in my chest, nausea, and fatigue. I could not wear my clothes or sleep on my sheets. Upon this realization, despair flooded in. The nightmare was back.

It was at this point, I did what seemed to be the most logical thing to do. I exchanged the washer for one that was similar to my last machine. It was a top loader, with a porcelain-coated tub, traditional high water levels, and unfortunately, a plastic agitator and collar. And, yes, these plastics were emitting chemicals. I tried to have faith that in time the machine would completely outgas, as my old washer must have done at some point.

It is now two weeks later and either the plastics in the new washing machines of today are more toxic, my current sensitivities to plastics have become more extreme, or both. Whichever the case, I have given up on this new washer being healthy for me. My laundry is absorbing chemicals from the plastics and has become toxic. Once again, I am without a washer and the nightmare is back.

But wait, there’s new hope! My mother has come to the rescue. After properly pleading, she has agreed to trade her used washer for my new one. I will be visiting her in a month to seal the deal. In the mean time, I’m hand washing the necessities.

CONCLUSION: We all count on modern day conveniences to help us through our busy days. But for those of us with MCS, a common appliance, such as the washing machine, can be essential to having a healthy life. For us, a washer does more than remove dirt. It gives us clean, fragrance-free, and chemical free:
.....Clothes we can breathe while wearing them
.....Sheets that we can breathe so we can get sleep
.....Towels that don’t harm our skin or affect our breathing
.....Covers to shield our laundry
.....Covers to contain harmful items
.....Protective cotton masks or handkerchiefs to breathe through

Is it unrealistic to expect a washer to remove unwanted particles, without adding others? Aren’t washers supposed to clean?

SUGGESTIONS FOR FINDING A SAFE WASHING MACHINE:
Search for a USED machine with a porcelain coated tub (not plastic). You might want to try your luck on a used washer with a stainless steel tub, if you can find one. Regardless of porcelain or steel, make sure the machine has never had fabric softener used in it. Check this by pulling off the top of the agitator. One glance, not to mention sniff, and you will know. This might also expose mold.

Also, I wouldn’t rule out a machine just because fragranced detergents were used. It is fairly easy (usually) to remove the residue of detergents from the tub with vinegar washes.

Beware! The new water conservation models make it impossible to rinse out the entire tub, because it will not completely fill with water. Although water conservation is important to our environment, it might not be a healthy option for one with MCS.

By the way, there are numerous complaints recently about front loaders. They tend to have mold issues.

WHAT DETERGENT TO USE: As many of you have already discovered, the question of, “Which detergent cleans and is still safe?” has many different answers. The combination of all products we each can tolerate is unique. I use a fragrance-free detergent, then double rinse with a vinegar rinse (about 1/4 cup –no more-in a full tub of water). For some, baking soda is the only safe detergent.

WHAT WORKS FOR YOU?
What did you do the last time you needed a new washer?
What laundry products are you using with success?

NOTES:
Some might wonder why I even need to use a washer. There are two very important reasons.
1.) A good washer can completely remove the chemicals/fragrances that my clothes absorb throughout my daily adventures.
2.) I have difficulties washing and wringing out clothes. (Fibromyalgia, which commonly occurs with MCS, affects muscle function.)

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